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A couple of years ago, I became obsessed with Korean entertainment. At the time, I was watching tons of kdramas/k-varieties online and listened to a lot of kpop (SNSD, 2NE1, Big Bang, B1A4). That's when I started to become infatuated with the idea of becoming an idol- it seemed like a dream. You would get voice lessons, dancing lessons, and meet idols. At first, I did some research and watched trainee videos and advice online and though some were discouraging, I was determined to do it. A lot of internet forums said that SM focused on looks while YG was pure talent, and that JYP was well rounded and "clean", so I started looking into JYP auditions (even thouhh I was more of an SM stan lol). I stumbled upon JYP auditions online and decided to take a risk. I didn't tell my parents anything about it and decided to submit a video (I sang "Important Person" by Park Ji Yoon). There were some submitted videos online, and I was a little discouraged watching them, and didn't think about my video until I checked my email 2 weeks later. I made it to the next round of auditions! The thing was though, it was in Korea. They wanted to see me in person to audition and I would have to get a plane ticket there. I ended up telling my mom and at first, she wasn't happy about the news. But after a long talk with her, she miraculously said yes... I was lucky. It was the summertime, and we come from a well offish family. By that point, she hadn't seen her extended family (that live in Korea, I'm korean) in years, so she decided to book a family trip there and give me a shot at my dreams.... Fast forward, we made it to Korea and the day came to do auditions. I'm not very nervous of singing in front of people (been in school talent shows, no stage fright, extroverted) so for me, the audition was fine. I didn't do anything special- I wore normal, comfortable clothes with my hair down and no makeup. I introduced myself to the camera/the lady that was judging me in Korean and English, and sang/rapped a little in "Dear Mom" by g.o.d. Again, I decided to forget about the audition afterwards and enjoy my stay in Korea... But weeks later, I got another email from them saying I passed to the next round. This time, my mom wasn't so happy. She's the typical Asian mom and wanted me to continue my studies (I also play violin and piano and was a good student back in the States). The only reason she let me go was because she wanted me to give up on this "faze" on my own (she thought I didn't have a chance) and thought it was a good time to visit family anyways. I even cried and begged but I couldn't convince her. We left Korea when the time came and went back home to the States. I still wonder what I could've been. Would I have passed the last round? Would I have debuted in TWICE and been on Sixteen? I don't have any aspirations to be an idol now, but I still wonder from time to time.
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